Only For You Alice
by Iwannabegoldnrumpeled
Summary: Emma gets drunk and hits on the hatter. He tries to be a gentleman. Hilarity ensues. Rated M mostly for language, but that could change in future chapters


Only For You Alice Ch 1- Drunk On You

A/N : This story came from sleep deprivation, and a very silly niece. She is the inspiration for drunk Emma. And she loves the Mad Hatter or mad hottie, as she calls him. We had a few funny chap titles, some of which were the cabbage and the waffle, waffle and swan. And the funny thing is no one eats waffles in this chapter, or cabbages. Like I said... sleep deprived. :D

They had won! They had fought the friggin mayor and won! Emma was still in shock at the day's events. Mary-Margaret had been proven innocent, and Regina was livid. She had shot daggers at Mister Gold as she had flounced out of the court room. He'd grinned way more than necessary in response.

Emma still sniggered at the look on the man's face as Mary-Margaret had kissed him square on the lips and then hugged him so tightly she was sure she'd heard his ribs crack from the second row.

Emma had sat with Ruby and Granny, awaiting the verdict. When it came back in their favor, they had all descended on Mary-Margaret and Mister Gold, and Emma had surprised him by hugging him too. He'd smiled as she spoke to him.

"I owe you like five!" she'd told him happily.

"I'll hold you to that sheriff," he'd quipped with a wink, before he picked up his briefcase, and then turned to Mary-Margaret. "Congratulations Miss Blanchard," he'd said kindly, his eyes twinkling. "I'll be seeing you," he picked up his cane and loped off down the main isle. Mary-Margaret giggled and smiled as she hugged her friends and then began to tear up a little bit. They held each other and cried for a few minutes. Before Ruby pulled back and brightened wiping at the mascara that ran down her face.

"We are going out tonight ladies. This calls for a celebration, and this time you are coming too sheriff, badge or not!" she informed Emma. "We can get Ashley too. She needs a break."

"I'll keep the baby, if she needs me to," Granny volunteered. Ruby smiled.

"Awesome. You are the best Gran!" she said hugging her grandmother. The older woman flushed.

"Well, come on then, let's go get you some free air dear," Granny said to Mary-Margaret.

The Rabbit Hole was alive, as it was a Friday night. Emma and the rest found a table near the bar, and ordered a round of drinks to start the evening off. The music was thumping and after a couple of rounds the girls were laughing and all being rather silly, but Emma had drank the most so far and was well beyond buzzed. In fact she was about four sheets to the wind by this time.

"I'm telling you it's not fair!" Emma said loudly ans she tossed back another shot of tequila. "I want a cool fairy tale nickname!" she declared and the other girls giggled. They all knew about Henry's theory, and they all pretty much thought it was silly, but they'd never tell him that. Emma blustered on.

"I mean Red Riding Hood, Cinderella, Snow White, I mean how cool a name is that? I'm just Emma," she said blandly. "I want to be a fairly tale type person," she slurred. They all giggled, and Mary-Margaret pushed her drink aside which Emma promptly took and drank.

"I know, you can be Alice," Mary-Margaret said slowly. Emma smiled.

"Yay, I'm officially a character! I'm Alice!" she said loudly. They all laughed, and over at the bar Jefferson was sitting nursing glass of scotch. He turned his head and chuckled at the gaggle of drunk princesses. Emma slammed down another shot and shucked off her jacket, as a new song came on. Emma started swaying to the music.

"I love this song!" she said, and Ruby laughed.

"Figures, since you are Alice," she teased, and Emma stood up.

"Yeah, hear that everyone? I'm Alice! Where's my Mad Hatter?" she called loudly. A few people around them sniggered. Jefferson watched her with interest. She spotted him sitting at the bar and smiled. "Oh, there you are," she said flirtatiously. Jefferson smirked, and turned away, but Emma would not be ignored. She began to dance her way over to him, singing loudly along with the song.

"I'm not Snow White, but I'm lost inside this forest, I'm not Red Riding Hood, but I think the wolves have got me. I don't want your stilettos, I'm not not Cinderella. I don't need a knight so baby take off all

your armor," her singing was horribly off key, but she couldn't care less. Jefferson watched as she stopped in front of him continuing to sing. Her friends watched from their table, all of them rolling with laughter. She reached up and took the hat he was wearing off of his head and out it on. He grinned, but it disappeared when she moved closer to him. She kept dancing, her eyes on him coquettishly. She turned around and pressed her ass right against his leg. He jumped and looked up at her. She watched him over her shoulder, ad winked.

"Will you wake me up boy if I bite your poison apple?" she sang, and then stopped dancing for him, and turned to go back over to her table.

"Hey Emma, where are going with my hat?" he asked reaching to stop her, trying to ignore the fact that she'd just basically given him a lap dance, and failing miserably. She turned back to him.

"I'm not Emma, I'm," she paused for effect. "Alice!" she said loudly. "Take me to Wonderland!" she said going back to her dance, and attempt at singing. He shook his head.

"Alright, Alice, can I have my hat back now?" he asked, and she turned back to him.

"Why, are you having a bad hare day? Get it? Hare, Hatter," she asked giggling, and rumpling his hair.

"I get it," he replied, with a laugh.

"Besides, I think it looks better on me," she teased. He smirked.

"You do look cute in it, but it's my hat. Maybe if you ask nicely I'll make you one," he offered. She though about it a moment.

"Nah, I like this one. It's so me," she preened. He smiled.

"Okay, you had your fun," he reached out and was going to take it when she turned and bunny hopped back to her table. Leaving him awestruck. Emma Swan did not bunny hop.

"Follow the white rabbit hatter!" she mocked and he slid off of his stool to follow her.

"Emma what the hell are you doing?" Ruby asked as she hopped around the table. Jefferson followed her, and looked at her friends.

"How many had she had?" he asked. Mary-Margaret shrugged.

"No idea," she replied. Jefferson rounded the table to corner Emma, but she seized him by the tie, and pulled him closer to her.

"Come on, dance with me mad hottie," she purred and he looked over at her friends.

"A little help?" he asked.

"Aw go on, dance with her." Ruby said shooing them towards the dance floor.

"I don't really dance," he said to Emma, but she kept tugging on his tie.

"I don't either, come on," she pulled him out onto the floor and he sighed and put his arms around her.

"Only for you, Alice," he teased, and she smiled, and leaned close to his ear.

"I believe," she whispered. He smiled, and tugged her against him.

"I'll believe it when I see it my dear," he said spinning her around. She staggered a bit, and he steadied her.

"Thanks," she said, and she took the hat off and put it back on his head, tugging it down at a roguish angle.

"I was wrong, it looks better on you mad hottie," she told him, as she settled the hat in place. He smirked.

"I appreciate the compliment," he said. She smiled and leaned close to him. He let her, and after the music stopped her led her back over to her friends. She picked up her drink from the table, and downed it, making a face, and then smiling at Jefferson.

"It's been a great day. We smoked the mayor at the courthorse today," Emma said thickly. "Now tonight, an awesome nights," she said loudly. "Mayor Mills can suck it!" she chorused.

"Hon, come on and sit down," Ashley said and Emma shook her off.

"No, it needs to be said, by me, now. She can suck a big one!" Emma said loudly. Siddney was sitting at the bar and he turned around.

"Now really, it that necessary?" he asked exasperatedly. Emma rolled her eyes and staggered over to him.

"Oh yet, I forgot. You two are still blowing each other aren't you? Well, I've got a message for you to take to her bitchesty," Emma said with a mock curtsy, and cleared her throat, looking Siddney square in the eye. "Tell her that I said she can suck a big green ogre dick!" Emma said, and Siddney's eyes got as round as dinner plates.

"Oh my God!" Mary-Margaret cried, covering her mouth with both hands. Ruby giggled, and Ashley's mouth hung open in shock.

"Okay, come on.. Let's go," Jefferson said gently. "Let's get you outta here," he guided her away from the stunned man on the stool. Mary-Margaret handed her her purse, and she clutched it to her as he tried to keep her from saying anything else.

"Can you remember that, hench-boy?" she called over her shoulder, as Jefferson guided her towards the door. "Here's a quote for you, go hench yourself while your at it! Unquote!" she fired a last parting shot, before being led from the room.

"Gimmie your keys Emma," he said as they exited the bar. She grinned, and stuck them in her pocket.

"No, they're my keys and you can't have 'em," she teased. He shook his head.

"I mean it Emma. You aren't driving in this state. Now give them to me," he asked politely.

"Nope. Come and get 'em," she teased trying to back away from him. But that was a bad idea. She lost her balance and he only just caught her before she fell.

Now he had her trapped. He reached into her jeans pocket to take the keys, and his fingers brushed against the inside of her leg. She squealed and wriggled around trying to get away.

"Stop it!" she cried. "I'm ticklish in my pocket!" she squeaked, and he laughed as she squirmed around trying to get free. He held them up in front of her face. She pouted.

"That's so not fair! You tickled, and I wasn't ready! You just try that again!" she slurred, and he shook his head.

"Come on now, lets get you in the car," he said.

"Okay," she agreed brightly. She tumbled into the seat and giggled.

"I fell!" she informed him, laughing her ass off.

"I see that. Mind your head," he said, and fastened her seat belt for her. After he closed the door and walked around the other side Emma had her seat belt off and had slid as close as she could to the driver's side. He had to duck, and take off his hat before he got in. Emma was giggling again.

"Something funny Emma?" he asked her. She pointed at the top of his head.

"My car is too little for you Jesserfon," she slurred, and he laughed.

"Well, only when I have my hat on," he replied, and she picked up his hat and put it back on. Her head.

"So take it off," she reasoned. He closed the door and looked back at her.

"I already did sweetie," he said leaning to show her. "See, no hat," he started the car, and then jumped as Emma touched his neck where his scar crisscrossed it.

"I'm sorry she hurt you, Jesserfon," she said, and he moved away from her touch, squirming a little. He'd never known the puckered flesh of his scar to be so sensitive, but with her running her fingertips over it, it was very much so.

"Thanks, now let's get you home, okay?" he swallowed hard. She was drunk, and very hands on when she was apparently. She nodded, and lay her head on his shoulder, and lay her hand right on his thigh.

"How's you get it back on? Did you sew it or use duct tape?" she asked and then giggled again.

"Neither I used a staple gun," he joked, she giggled again.

"That was very resortfull of you, bust didn't it hurt a lot?" she asked, still tracing his scar.

"Yes, it hurt like a bitch," he replied.

"I'm sorry. You want me to kiss it better?" she asked. Then without waiting for and answer she proceeded to kiss his scar. He squirmed away.

"Emma, stop," he warned her, and her tongue flicked out over it. "Emma you said kiss not lick," he cried. "We are gonna wreck and die!" he pleaded, moving away before she made him run off the road

"Jesserfon, you taste like waffles," she informed him. "I like waffles!"

"Emma, stop it please," he begged.

"Mmmkay," she said agreeably. "It's sweet of you to drive me. Just watch out for the big bad wolf. He doesn't like my car, and made me run in the ditch before," she told him, and he chuckled.

"I'll watch out. Why don't you help me look?" he suggested. Emma nodded, and turned to look.

"I can't see too well. Everything's all kinda woobly," she said blinking and he smiled.

"Alright just lay back and relax," he said, trying to ease her over on the seat. She sat up abruptly.

"Oh no, The last time you told me something like that I woke up bound and gagged," she retorted.

"I'm not gonna bind you or gag you ever again, unless you ask me to of course," he said with a laugh.

"Oh, Mad Hottie's got some kink in him," Emma teased. He grinned and nodded.

"If you only knew," he replied, and glanced over at her. She was gazing at him.

"I'd like to know. You're cute, and you got really pretty eyes," she told him. He grinned.

"So do you Emma," he told her. "I love green eyes," he admitted.

"Aww, sweet!" she said, wrapping her arms around his middle. And lay her head back on his shoulder. This time he just let her stay there. She behaved, for the most part anyway.

The rest of the ride was silent, and Emma tried to focus on the road, but her focusing capabilities had been short circuited by all that tequila. She kept gazing up at him, and smiling. She made him a little nervous. When they got back to the apartment Emma started to get out of the car and the world spun.

"Woah!" she cried and Jefferson hurried to her side. He looped her arm over his shoulders and started for the door, but she kept staggering so he swept her up into his arms and carried her bridal style to her door. She wrapped her arms around his neck, and smiled.

"Hey! When did we get married? I know I'm not that drunk!" she giggled.

"I wouldn't bet on that sweetie,which key?" he asked her holding up her keys. She took them and looked at them closely, blinking her eyes and trying to focus them.

"This one, I think. Just stick it in and see if it fits," she slurred. He gave her a look, wishing she hadn't just said it that way. With a sigh, he took it and unlocked the door, before carrying her inside.

He tried to stand her on her feet, but she was not able to stand on her own. She giggled again as she almost fell once more. She steadied herself on his legs and almost grabbed something else.

"My legs aren't working Jesserfon. I think I lost them," she mused.

"Well, where you the last time you had them?" he asked jokingly, as he scooped her back up and deposited her on the sofa.

"Oh yeah. I traded them to Gold so he'd finally tell me his first name," she said in all seriousness.

"Well then, what is it?" Jefferson asked her. Emma motioned for him to come closer, like it was a big secret. He leaned over and listened carefully.

"It's Sylvia," she said, and then fell over laughing. He laughed with her.

"Okay, that was a good one. Well, now that you're safe and sound. I'd better go."

"No, not yet. Sit with me Jesserfon," she requested. He sat on the other end of the sofa, and she pouted. "Not all the way over there!" she whined, and slid over closer to him.

"Emma, you are drunk honey. I think I'd better keep my distance," he warned her but she slid right next to him. She blinked into his face.

"I'm glad you're not dead. I would have been sad if you'd gotten hurt when you fell. Where did you go?" she asked him. He smiled.

"You wouldn't believe me if I told you babe," he replied.

"Did you go to Wonderland?" she asked him in awe. He shook his head.

"No," he hedged and wouldn't say more.

Emma slipped off her jacket and looked at it impishly. Then she put it over her head. Jefferson looked on in alarm.

"Emma, what are you doing?" he asked her.

"I'm trying to go to Wonderland," she said in a muffled voice. "If you can get there in a hat maybe my jacket is magic too," she said. "I believe in magical clothing," she said mysteriously.

"Emma sweetie, you can't get there in a jacket. You can only travel by hat," he told her. She giggled.

"What do you mean? Maybe I'm there now. Wow, it's dark in Wonderland. It must be nighttime here," she said, and then fell over laughing.

"Okay, Emma no more alcoholic beverages for you," he said, plucking the jacket off of her head. Her hair was mussed, and she was flushed from her giggle fit. In fact, in all his life he'd only ever heard one other person laugh as much as she did, and he didn't do it so much any more.

"I wanna go to Wonderland!" she declared. "Take me there, I want to shrink, and get really tall, and chase that bird thingy. We could listen to the singing flowers, and, and we could smoke weed with the caterpillar then we could find the hare, and the little mouse and go have fucked up unbirthday tea party, then we could join hands and go skipping down the yellow brinck, no wait a minute," she paused shaking her head. "Wrong story," he burst out laughing.

"Emma, you slay me," he chuckled, and Emma sat up on her heels and shook her head.

"No, this would be slaying you, hiya!" she lunged for him with an imaginary sword, and poked him in the chest before losing her balance, and falling across his lap. His eyes went wide and he caught her before she tumbled to the floor.

"Well if I were a dragon I'd be dead. Good work. Must get it from your dad," he teased.

"Thas right, I'm my daddy's girl so don't fucking mess with me mister!" she slurred.

"Emma I wouldn't dare, you carry a gun, and you really know how to swing for the fences," he said lifting her off of his lap, and sat her upright. "Now, I'd better go sweetie. You'll be alright, yeah?" he said. She pouted.

"Don't leave! What if I try to go up to my room and I fall down, and fall and have to go to the hospital, and get snitches?" she whined. He chuckled.

"You mean stitches?" he asked, and she looked at him seriously.

"That's what I said, sneeches, no wait snatches, snicker, snack, never mind. You know what I said, and you can't leave me Jesserfon, I'll fall down," she sniveled. "And I don't have one of those thingys, that let you call for help n stuff." Jefferson looked up at her ladder.

"Do you want me to take you up there?" he asked her. She smirked then, all traces of distress gone in an instant.

"Thought you'd never ask!" she said happily, grabbing a handful of his shirt. He smiled.

"How about you just sleep down here?" he asked her. "The couch looks comfortable, I'll even get you a blanket, okay?"

"Will you sleep with me?" she asked him sweetly.

"Not in the way you're thinking love," he said, tucking her hair behind her ear.

"No, not that. I just want to you stay. I'm lonely," she sighed snuggling into his chest.

"Emma, honey you are very drunk. You don't really want this," he said a little sadly. She looked up at him.

"Yes I do. I like you Jesserfon. Even after you drugged me, and and tied me up. That was the most action I've seen in a while," she said with a giggle. "And you're cute," she cooed.

"Yeah thanks, I like you too Emma, but you need to sleep this off. Let's see how you feel when you wake up," he suggested. She nodded, and looked up at him.

"Kiss me Jesserfon," she asked softly. He leaned over and pressed his lips to her forehead.

"Not there silly," she said, and puckered her lips, leaning in to kiss him. He pulled back a little.

"No Emma. Not while you're drunk," he warned. She pouted.

"I don't blame you for not wanting to kiss me. The last guy who did ended up six feet under," she said sadly.

"It's not that I don't want to Emma, just not while you're drunk," he said, and she slumped down and sighed.

"When word gets out about what happened to Graham no guy will ever kiss me again," she whined,

"Emma," he began.

"I'll end up old and alone," she said tearing up.

"Emma honey," he said again, but she went on.

"I be a crazy old cat lady who smells like cabbage," she said as a trickle of tears fell from her eyes. Except I don't have any cats, so I'll just be a crazy old lady, all alone, and sad," she cried.

"Oh for the love of wonder!" Jefferson swore, and pulled her close, his full lips curling around hers. He caught her off guard, as she gasped he deepened the kiss only slightly, stroking his thumb gently down the side of her face. Emma whimpered and slid closer to him, straddling his thighs, he grunted in protest and backed of a little. She watched him a minute. He smiled.

"See, I'm okay," he assured her.

"Is your heart still beating?" she asked him, running her hands over his chest,then up to his neck to find a pulse.

"Very rapidly thanks to you," he breathed, and she giggled.

"So's mine," she sighed, tracing her fingers across his scar. "Kiss me again," she requested, grabbing for him. He tried to move back away, but there was nowhere for him to go.

"No. Look, I proved I won't die, now you gotta stop," he pleaded.

"Kiss me one more time and I'll lay down and go to sleep," she promised crossing her heart. He sighed and leaned in to kiss her softly. She pulled him closer and kissed him back.

"Okay there, " he said when he pulled away. "Now here, lay down," he said. And she giggled madly.

"I lied," she teased, and ran her hands up his chest again. "I had my fingers crossed!" she sang at him.

He inhaled sharply, and she smirked, before lowering her lips to his neck. Somehow in her drunken state she remembered what doing what she had done to him in the car had made him do. She nibbled a line across his scar, then licked the same path with the tip of her tongue, before biting down hard. He sucked his breath, and his eyes almost rolled up in his head.

"Emma, we need to stop. If you still want this tomorrow when you're sober I'll give it to you gladly," he groaned and she licked, and nibbled a path up his neck, and nipped at his ear.

"Kiss me again Jefferson," she purred against his skin, saying his name right. "Please, I want you so much," she pleaded. He growled at his little seductress, and she slanted her mouth over his. She urged his lips apart with her tongue, and teased him into kissing her back frantically. Their tongues met in a feverish tango, making them both moan with unresolved need. Emma's hand roamed Jefferson's chest and played with the buttons on his shirt. He managed to keep his hands still, and finally he was able to pry himself away from her hot needy mouth long enough to speak.

"Baby stop it, we'll do this tomorrow if you want. All day and night if you want. Just please, I don't want you to hate me, or do something you'll regret, okay?" he begged. Emma grinned.

"Take me to wonderland mad hottie!" she said, and then slumped over on his shoulder.

"Emma?" he said loudly. He could feel her soft breathing on his neck, and sighed raggedly. For the second time in his life he held the unconscious form of Emma Swan in his arms. Grunting at the discomfort she'd created, he slid her off of his lap, and settled her against his side. He couldn't just leave her now, so he made himself as comfortable as he could, and closed his eyes. It was going to be a long night.

A/N : Okay this was a fun chapter to write, and there will be more, if I get a good response, so please, review. I'd love to know what everyone thinks.


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